Thursday, May 24, 2007

Absurdity 24X7

[As I said in my previous post, it has been 3 years of secular rule at the centre. In this post I am just reproducing what I had written some time back about media's obsession with this secular rule.]

Not too long ago there was only one channel named Doordarshan that would give us the days top news stories. And that too only once a day or may be twice at the most. All the top stories of the day would get covered in 30 minutes. All this was before the advent of 24X7 news channels. Now these channels tell us the same 30 minute story for 24 hours. In this array of 24x7 news channels, there are various varieties. One claims to provide Truth First (and then bakwaas) while the other avoids convoluted debates by having gay people with weird names to read news. There are so many news channels that it’s difficult to even name them or at least keep a count of them.

To succeed in this ever increasing competition between rival channels, the “intellectuals” in the media have resorted to “breaking news” coverage of the funniest kind. Such “breaking news” will be very annoyingly flashing on your TV screen whenever you tune into any of the 24X7 news channels. The breaking news story will hardly be a news item. Most of them will be like:

Sourav Ganguly has left for meeting (Who cares whether he has left for the meeting or is having an online chat with Nagma).
PM wears blue turban to parliament

As if such pathetic news items aren’t enough, these news-channel-people are outrageous enough to get into the detailed analysis of such stories.
Vishnu (News anchor): The Prime Minister today wore a blue turban to parliament. This was a very very significant gesture by one of India’s best economist Prime Ministers. Our sources wherever they are have confirmed that the intention behind this move is to tell the people that this Government is a more inclusive-secular-liberal government unlike the previous fascist-communal-divisive government that did not allow some people to wear clothes of their choice let alone realizing their lofty desire of wearing blue turbans. To tell you more about it we have with us, Secular TV’s Rahul who has covered Prime Ministers turban affair extensively.
Vishnu: Rahul, Isn’t this a very significant gesture by the PM?
Rahul: Yes Vishnu. Infact, no other PM has worn a blue turban so far to parliament in the history of independent India. Actually the party President Sonia wanted to wear blue turban to display her commitment to the lofty ideals of secularism, but she renounced that opportunity for the sake of the Prime Minister. Vishnu.
Vishnu: Rahul thank you for that really enlightening perspective.

As if this whole entertaining(sorry, “enlightening”) discussion was not enough, viewers are given a terrific opportunity to become more involved in news programs by asking them related questions like,
“Should we on Ridiculous TV 24X7 also wear blue turbans?”
and asking them to SMS their reply. The poor viewers who do so will always have my sympathies with them.

The real sad news is that there exists in our country today not a single sane, sensible news channel. Maybe, hopefully we will have one in the not too distant future.

5 comments:

Parisarapremi said...

ನ್ಯೂಸ್ ಚಾನೆಲ್‍ಗಳು ಮನರಂಜನಾ ಚಾನೆಲ್‍ಗಳಾಗಿ ಹೋಗಿವೆ ಈಗ..

ಗಂಗೂಲಿ ಉದಾಹರಣೆ ಸೊಗಸಾಗಿದೆ.. ನಮ್ಮ ಒಂದು ನ್ಯೂಸ್ ಚಾನೆಲ್‍ ಅವರು ಪುಣ್ಯಾತ್ಮರು ಇಪ್ಪತ್ನಾಲ್ಕು ಗಂಟೆ ನ್ಯೂಸ್ ತೋರ್ಸ್ತೀವಿ ಅಂತ ಒಂದು ದಿನವಿಡೀ ರಕ್ಷಿತಾ - ಪ್ರೇಮ್ ಮದುವೆ ತೋರಿಸಲಿಲ್ಲವೇ? ಸಧ್ಯ, ಮದುವೆಗೇ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಿದರು, ಪ್ರಸಾರ ಇರುಳಿಗೆ ಮುಂದುವರೆಸಲಿಲ್ಲ..

ಈಗಲೂ ಹಳೆಯ ದೂರದರ್ಶನದ ನ್ಯೂಸ್ ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ. ವಿನೋದ್ ಧುಬೇ, ಪ್ರಣಾಯ್ ರಾಯ್ - ಇವರೆಲ್ಲಾ ದೂರದರ್ಶನದಲ್ಲಿದ್ದ ಕಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಎಷ್ಟು ಸೊಗಸಾಗಿತ್ತು ಎಂದೆನಿಸುತ್ತೆ.

ಬಿಬಿಸಿಯಂಥ ಬಿಬಿಸಿಯವರೂ ಸಹ ಮನರಂಜನೆಯತ್ತಾ ಸಾಗುತ್ತಿರೋದು ವಿಪರ್ಯಾಸ.

Anonymous said...

Superb post...I hope they flash "Breaking news" only when there is somthing really "breaking"....blue turbans....***sighs**** what has our media come to?

Arjun Sharma said...

He he, PM wears blue turban to parliament.

Harish said...

[Parisarapremi]Nija. Aadre, ade Prannoy Roy, Vinod Dube, indu news annu trivialise maaDbittiddaare.

[anonymous]Thank you.

[arjun]Haasya.

Janefield said...

Hilarious! i loved the name Ridiculous TV :))))