Sunday, June 14, 2009

Lok Paritran

It has been 28 days since the 2009 general election results came out, still there is not even an iota of analysis in the media of Lok Paritran's poll debacle. That's because media does not have its ear to the ground fearing insects and other life forms that dwell normally on the ground. But such fears cannot evade us or rather Lok Paritran from facing facts.

When brand IIT has become such a hit in quite a few major Scandinavian countries, here's a political party of ex-IIT-ians which has failed to open its account in this vast, humongous, heterogenous, nation of ours. They failed to open their account even in IIT towns. Why? Is their a divide amongst IITians? Is there a disconnect between IIT and society despite the rhyme? Is their a seemingly disconnected disconnect between lawyers and engineers, between ration card holders and senior citizens, between myth and parable, between distorted utopia and unambiguous reality, between sex and metaphysics? "There is", says a senior Lok Paritran leader before adding, "a chintan baithak scheduled next month. We will discuss all these issues. We have already concluded what to conclude in that baithak".

There are other issues that face the party. Why such a name as Lok Paritran? Why not a more cool and contemporary name? Why have Sanskrit name? Why not an Anglo-Saxon name? Why did the innumerable 'love-speeches' made by their President fail to attract voters despised by 'hate-speeches'? What is life? Why didn't they go for alliances with comparably smaller parties like JD(S)? Is U R Ananthmurthy a genius? So many questions stare violently infront of Lok Paritran.

But it's not the end of the road for Lok Paritran says noted political analyst Arjun Sharma. 'Now they might not have won any seat. But they will surely come to power in 15 years', says Arjun displaying his knowledge of political history(BJP rose from 2 seats to ruling party in 15 years.). Even Lok Paritran leaders are optimistic. They have apparently charted out the slogan for the 2014 elections - 'Where there is hope there is despair'. When asked whether it was supposed to 'Where there is despair there is hope', party worker Subrmanya S Z said, 'There is absolutely no confusion. This is our slogan'.

In other news BJP President Rajnath Singh has expelled himself from the party for talking to the media to announce the party's new gag orders. "It was a Catch-22 like situation for me", said Mr. Singh showing surprising knowledge of Joseph Heller's work.

Monday, May 18, 2009

The Party Is Over

A political party has unofficially died today marking the end of the longest surviving non-Congress party. This was no ordinary party. This was a party that shook the political certitudes of Indian politics like no one else had done before. This was a party that captured the public imagination and the ultimate power in fairly rapid and dramatic way. This was a party that gave India one of her best Prime Ministers. This was a party that dominated and dictated the agenda for five successive general elections.

A party that was once so full of ideas got bankrupt and corrupt by the stint in power. Bereft of new ideas, unable to cling on to old ones, the party developed severe identity crisis. The crisis needed application of thoughts by its once much envied leadership. But the leadership was tired and jaded. The leadership was at war with itself. The leadership tried to beat its opponents by becoming exactly like its opponent. The leadership was in denial about the disease that had afflicted the party. The party was at war with itself. It had become a weak, pity, pale shadow of its once glorious self.

Like the drowning man, it hoped someone else from outside would come and help. And this help it expected from its opponents. In the world of competitive politics, that was asking for a death blow. Blow it did receive but survived for a few hours raising hopes of the believers that atleast now an emergency surgery would be undertaken to cure the ill. But the party went back to denial and to old certitudes and to ideas that had gone past their sell by date. It died.

But political parties are in some ways immortal. They can come back from death and lead a rejuvenated life. Can this party do? Do they still have the resolve to do it? Will they carry out the onerous responsibility of ensuring a bipolar polity in India? Let's hope they regain their life for the sake of India.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Another pointless post - 88th post

GuruWrites has come under intense ridicule and criticism by the single digit readership of the blog who say that GuruWrites gets active only for celebratory posts. Some critics also point out that the author of this blog could not could not come up with new posts due to ideological differences though the same critics have not been able to point out with whom these ideological differences have cropped up.

Sources close to GuruWrites have told that the blogger has now become uncomfortable with a Hindu-sounding name. 'The author of this blog has huge political ambitions. He doesn't want that to be harmed by writing in a blog that sounds too Hindu', says noted lawyer turned postman Krantikari. But this has also been denied by the very same sources.

Amidst all these rumour mongering and speculations, mainly by GuruWrites, the author of this esteemed blog has not been available for comment. Sources say the writer at GuruWrites is slightly disappointed that he has still not recieved JnaanaPeeTha or Kendra Sahitya Academy Award despite the prolific literary outpourings in his blog. But the author is planning to celebrate the 100th post soon in a grand way.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Guruwrites celebrates 3 years of relentless, clear, pointed, ahead, truth first, humour next blogging

It's been possible mainly because of you, you and the person to your extreme right.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Guruwrites celebrates 86th post

On this occasion of the 86th post from the Guruwrites Inc., the Gregorian calendar has moved on to 2009. 'It's incredible that the commencement of new year has coincided with the landmark 86th post from Guruwrites', said a beaming author of this blog. '86 is a significant number. Remember the 86th amendment. Remember 1986', said the author while commenting on the significance of 86th post. However, not many, including the author, understood what the previous statement meant.
In the aftermath of Mumbai terror attacks, the 86th post celebration has been low key. But that did not deter noted citizen journalist Rishikesh from speaking his mind to the media people. 'This is a historic moment in the history of the Indian Right', said Rishikesh while addressing a press conference. This has triggered a wave of speculation in the national and regional media about the political incilination of this blogger. 'Rishikesh is a respactable citizen journalist. If he thinks this is a historic day for the Indian Right, then this would mean the end of secularism in this country', moaned noted secularist Ms Seetalwad before emitting a shrill tone which shrill tone analysts believe was an unrelated call to defeat Narendra Modi in whichever election possible in whichever country.
When asked to comment on the controversy, the author of Guruwrites had only mathematical chutzpah to offer. '86 is 14 short of hundred. 8+6=14.', said the Guru. Since nothing much could be inferred from that, nothing much was inferred. Wish you all a happy new year.