Saturday, March 15, 2008

Government decides to dissolve salt

The present Government being one that woks for the common man day in and day out has decided to dissolve large amounts of salt in huge buckets of fresh water. While announcing this decision at a press conference, Salt and Water Minister Mr. Soz said that this was also a tribute to Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi's salt satyagraha. We, being a channel which takes political news seriously, are bringing you this breaking news exclusively and comprehensively.

For more on this breaking story, we are now joined by our citizen journalist Rishikesh. Rishikesh, how would you view this decision of the Government?
"The Government has got its priorities wrong. While there are other vital issues like the state of Gilli daand sport, the Government has now got itself drowned in the collective euphoria of dissolving salt prior to elections. The Government shall not gain a single seat by this move."
"Do you think they could have dissolved something else that would have been more beneficial to the common man?"
"I think they should have dissolved small inconsequential nations"
"Do you mean they should have dissolved entire nations?"
"Yes, similar to the way in which parliaments are dissolved"

Now, to get the Congress' perspective, we shall talk to Congress spokesperson Jaipal Reddy, who lays great emphasis on pronouncing the 'R's in a word. Mr. Reddy, why dissolve salt? You could have done something more useful.
'The Congrrress Parrty led Govumment has decided to dissolve salt not because salt is soluble in water. But because this move will help common man by incrrreasing industrrrial production."
"How is that so, Mr. Jaipal Reddy?"
"When larrrge quantities of salt arrre dissolved, demand forrr prrroduction of salt incrrreases. This incrrreased prrroduction means morre job crrreation leading to morrre money in people's pockets."
That was Jaipal Reddy speaking to us about the Government's latest move to dissolve salt.

Noted secularist, lyricist and polemist Javed Akthar said that this move of the Government was rooted in 'secular ethos'. He however declined to elaborate. At the other end of the secular spectrum, the Bharateeya Janata Party has soundly criticized this move. When asked whether his party too would dissolve something, BJP spokesperson maintained a curious silence.

Union health minister Ambumani Ramadoss, though, was ebullient in his praise of the Prime Minister for initiating this move that he(Ramadoss) termed as "bold, daring and progressive". He also added that this move will lessen the salt consumption in the country thus reducing the incidence of salt related diseases. He has infact asked Union Entertainment Minister to direct the censor board to not allow the screening of movies where salt dissolution is not shown.

Where will this salt politics take the country to? Will India sign the nuclear deal with US? For answers to these questions and many more stay tuned to this channel as we go behind the scenes and bring you nothing but the truth. Truth, contrary to popular belief, is quite funny. Thank you.


Kavitha said...

Ha Ha ha...dissolve salt anthe...

Anbumani Ramdoss bagge thumba chennagi baredideera...

How about dissolving all politicians and political parties instead of nations or for that matter salt? :)

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Anonymous said...


Browsed your blog..

Very interesting.Loved your Revisited Mahabharatha.

Your humor is adoringly black like Columbian supreme. Tasteful and wakes you up at the same time.

Sometimes I wonder, is it the same Harish who came with us to visit mighty almighty at times. May be you have to prove your other existence!!!



Arjun Sharma said...

I strongly support this governmental move. However, 27% of the salt must be kept aside for the OBCs to dissolve, since this would ensure fair and adequate representation of the backward and oppressed classes in this landmark event,

Additionally, I also demand that the creamy layer also be included in this and that salt dissolution reservations be introduced in the private sector too, where people think they can dissolve whatever they want, at will.

And, while I'm at it, I also demand a helicopter, twenty-five thousand rupees and the Kohinoor diamond.

He he, Anbumani Ramadoss-du channagittu. Olle censor boards-u.

Rafiki said...

Well the next sure thing to happen wud be fresh water crisis which wud bring us back to TN and karnataka Kaveri hesarinalli population control program(kill ppl)!! :)

Harish said...

[Kavitha]No, politicians and political parties should not be dissolved. Aaga haasyada space kammi aagutte.


Naanantoo confuse maaDbiDtini alla. Alli devasthanakkoo bartini, illi Mahabharatha-nu revisit maaDtini. :)

I completely agree with what you have said. Your social concern needs to be applauded.
Your demand for Kohinoor diamond shows your concern for India's glorious past. This can also be appreciated.

[Rafiki]Houdu, that would be a great tragedy though.